CHRONIC POSITIVITY – Life with Polycystic Kidney Disease

Time to take a break from all this serious stuff!  New twist on “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”  

 BARACK OBAMA:  
 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! 
  
 
 JOHN MC CAIN: 
  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. 
  
 
 HILLARY CLINTON:  
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn’t about me……. 
  
 
 DR. PHIL:  
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems. 
  
 
 OPRAH:  
 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 
 
 
 GEORGE W. BUSH:  
 We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. 
  
 
  ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:  
 We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 
  
 
 NANCY GRACE:  
 That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 
  
 
 PAT BUCHANAN:  
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. 
  
 
 DR SEUSS:  
 Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told. 
  
 
 ERNEST HEMINGWAY: 
 To die in the rain. Alone. 
  
 
 JERRY FALWELL:  
 Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?  That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ 
  
 
 BARBARA WALTERS:  
 Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. 
  
 
 ARISTOTLE:  
 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 
  
 
 JOHN LENNON:  
 Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 
  
 
 BILL GATES:  
 I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#&&^C% …….. reboot. 
  
 
 ALBERT EINSTEIN:  
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? 
  
 
 BILL CLINTON:  
 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! …….. What is your definition of chicken? 
  
 
 COLONEL SANDERS:  
 Did I miss one? 
  
 
 DICK CHENEY:  
 Where’s my gun? 
  
 
 AL SHARPTON: 
 Why are all the chickens white? ……..We need some black chickens!